Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Top Ten Reasons My Book Will Sell

Okay, for the past month or so, I’ve been whining about the fact I got a three book deal from Berkley based on forty pages and a synopsis. I ranted on and on about how I wish they’d bought something I had already written. That way I would be sure they loved the book.

I know some of you out there would love to slap me right now. Hey, I wanna slap myself. What is wrong with me? My life-long dream comes true and I whine? The fact that the editor trusted my writing enough to bet on not just one but three unwritten books should make me swell with pride.

So, I’ve had an attitude adjustment. The new me knows if I write it the best I know how, that’s all I can do. Some people will love it, some will think it’s so so, and others will wonder why I left the medical field. Hopefully, the lovers will far outnumber the haters.

Anyway, with my new attitude, I decided to come up with another top ten list. (See blog dated March 28th where I listed the top ten reasons why I should return my advance check.) This new list will be the top ten reasons why I think my book will sell.

Ready?

10 – I have a lot of friends out there and I definitely plan on playing the friendship card to get them to part with seven measly bucks.

9 – I’m not shy about leaving my business cards everywhere and talking up my story. (Refer to blog dated March 7th about me talking to everyone.)

8 – I plan on buying a couple hundred myself.

7 – Did I mention I am one of nine children? There are a lot of little “like me’s” out there. My mother had 33 grandchildren, a slew of great grandchildren and now two great great grandkids. That’s at least 50 or 60 books.

6 – If my children want to remain in my will, they’ll get all their friends to spring for the paperback.

5 – Berkley is a great publisher and people will try a new author based on their reputation for printing great books.

4 – I said a novena to St. Jude (the patron saint of impossible causes) to get this deal. Surely, he won’t abandon me now, especially since I fired off a check to St. Jude’s hospital and Danny Thomas is smiling at me from above.

3 – I am kinda cute and my picture will look good on the back inside cover. I plan on paying big bucks to get air brushed, to have twenty pounds knocked off and to have my face look like a plum and not a prune. Of course, at book signings, I'll run the risk of people thinking some older, chunky chick is trying to pull a fast one.

2 – Writers are also readers and love to support each other. I’m on a lotta freakin’ loops.

And the number one reason for thinking my book will sell – It’s a damn good story!!!

There, my new attitude is alive and well. Do you still wanna slap me?

Now let’s hear why your book will sell. Now’s not the time for fake humility. Give it up.

42 comments:

SG Redling said...

Liz you are cracking me up! Do you think Berkley is reading this and saying "Uh-oh, we've got nut job here!" With an attitude like that, there's no doubt people will flock to your book. Who can resist you? Good luck. (PS When mine comes out, can I borrow your family?)

magolla said...

As the youngest of nine I hope my family would fork out the money . . . but I know better. They would all want freebies.
Get yor behind in the chair and write, Woman!

Sylvia Rochester said...

The number one reason listed is RIGHT ON. How can your debut possibly fail. You're a terrific writer, woman. I can't wait to get my hands on the book, and I'll certainly spread the word to my mailing lists.
Sylvia

Liz Lipperman said...

Wow! You guys are up early. Sheila, mi familia is su familia!! Do you have any idea how much drama there is in a family that size?

As for Berkley, I am sure IF they were reading this, they would wonder about my mental status. But it's too late. I have their money!

Thanks for stopping by. And I will definitely buy your book.

Liz Lipperman said...

Hey, Margaret, my family will probably want freebies, too.

Today is a designated 16 hour writing day (except for popping back here to see what everyone is saying.)

Hope you're keeping your spirits up.

Thanks for commenting.

Hep people, you didn't tell me why your book will sell.

Liz Lipperman said...

Sylvia, you've always been one of my cheerleaders. Tell me why your book will (and did) sell.

Sylvia made me a voodoo doll with "Liz Lipperman NY Timrs Bestseller" on it. Woohoo, St. Jude and voodoo. How can I miss?

Edie Ramer said...

Liz, I loved this blog! And Margaret's comment, too. LOL I know my brothers and sister will want freebies of mine.

I've read some of your stuff, and number 1 is the truest answer. It's going to be the number 1 answer for me, too. :)

Kari Lee Townsend said...

Snort....enough said :-)) Liz, you rock!!!

Cassy Pickard said...

Liz: You've done it again! Love it--more interesting me discussing my underpants (Friday's blog for those of you might find that an unusual comment).

Somehow, knowing you, I can't believe we won't be seeing your name on one of those fabulous lists called bestsellers!!

Getting on a plane. Will check back this afternoon after I land.

Liz Lipperman said...

Hello, Edie. Thanks for stopping by. Hopefully, when you sell (and I have a feeling that will be sooner than later)you can get lots of copies for your cheap family, too. LOL

Liz Lipperman said...

Kari, where are your reasons??

Cassy, this blog doesn't hold a candle to your story on Friday comparing panties to writing. From Grannies to thongs, you made me laugh... and relate.

Have a safe trip back home.

Mary Martinez said...

Love the new attitude! You sold me a book.

Plus you forgot to mention your mysterious new picture when we have Rae update--not saying more than that, don't want to spoil anything.

They're all right on by the way! You'll be a Best Seller in no time! You go BC Babe!

Wolfgang A. Mozart said...

I, for one, will definitely purchase and read your book, Liz, based on your well-written, thought-provoking and entertaining blogs.

And why will people buy my book? (Well, Mary Moreno's book, actually.) Because I'M IN IT! And who wouldn't want to read about Mois?

June said...

Hmmm, if having a lot of siblings is required for selling books, then I'm in trouble. I would suggest the idea to my mother that she needs to get some action and produce me more siblings, but I don't want to send her into cardiac arrest. Seriously, Liz, you have nothing to worry about. Your books are going to fly off the shelves. And, I promise to help make that happen!

Liz Lipperman said...

Mary, the mysterious picture will be a surprise to our readers. All I'm saying is, they won't have wait too long to see meat cleavers, dark alleys and someone packing heat. I hope I got everybody's curiosity peaked.


Hey, where's your reasons people will buy a book? I love that y'all are going to buy mine, but I want to know why I should buy yours?

Oh yeah, the friendship card!!

Liz Lipperman said...

Hey, Mozart, you look good for your age!!

Seriously, Mary, how could anyone resist a book with Mozart as a main character. I can't wait.

Liz Lipperman said...

Hey, June, welcome. And yay...another book sold. Let's see - that's about eight today.

As far as wanting your mom to give you more siblings, you really will send her to an early death. Borrow some of mine instead.

Tell me why I should buy your book.

Lindsay said...

Can't wait for your book to come out. A freebie copy would always be nice but signed of course. But in lieu of a freebie I'll wait until I get a coupon to buy it.

Gin said...

You ever notice how much easier it is to be negative than positive? I had no problems creating the top ten list before. Now I'm getting brain cramps!

Top Ten Reasons My Agent Will Sell One Of My Books:

10. I write wild stories that shake genres up a little.
9. I write 2-3 books a year.
8. I listen to critiques and change what isn't working.
7. I ignore critiques on personal preferences.
6. I pay attention to growing interests using the media.
5. My creativity has a huge warehouse.
4. I have the support of my friends and family.
3. My writing improves with every book.
2. Cause I don't call my agent the X-treme X-Tine Supreme for no reason.

And the most important reason:

1. I simply refuse to fail.

There...

Now I have to go sacrifice a goat or something to make sure I didn't jinx myself.

Love ya, Liz!
Best,
Gin

Liz Lipperman said...

Lindsay, are you related to me??????

Good to see you this fine Monday afternoon.

I'll see if Berkley gives out coupons because I know that will be a frequent question from my clan.

Liz Lipperman said...

Oh, Gin, I knew I could count on you for a list. You are right on with your reasons but you forgot the most important one - because you have a damn good story, too!!

Thanks for the list since no one else seems to want to play today. Come on, people, lighten up. Take a lunch break and make a list.

Lindsay said...

Don't know if I'm related to you or not. As long as the coupon works at Borders then we're all set.
And Gin I love your #1. Same here

Lindsay said...

BTW Liz,
I forgot to mention- I HATE MONDAY

Anita Clenney said...

Love it, Liz. The book will sell. You can count on at least one sale from me! I love your writing.

Liz Lipperman said...

Task, Anita. Back atcha!!

I'm getting excited since I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I wrote all day long today and now only need about 40 more pages.

Woot!!

Cassy Pickard said...

Liz and others: Am back home. Not a bad trip. But, YIKES! there were a lot of postings on this blog today. I reading through them was fun.

I loved the comment about how it is easier to be negative about ourselves than positive. How true that can be. Liz: Your redesigned "new" self will lead us forward. You can now be our guru on transformation and positive self-image.

Love you, girl.

Liz Lipperman said...

Welcome home, Cassy. We missed you.

Now sit in that chair and write!!!

I love reading the comments, too.

Mary Marvella said...

Love all the reasons!

Lindsay said...

Yeah, welcome home Cassy. That is until you fly off to some exotic spot again.

Melanie said...

Hahaha! Great post, Liz. I'll definitely buy your book. Can't wait!!

Liz Lipperman said...

Mary and Melanie - thanks for stopping by. You know the feeling is mutual.

Now back to writing.

Anonymous said...

OK--so I am out of my element by commenting on this major blog you writers have going on--and all I am is a little ole fat great grandma---but I am happy to see the attitude adjustment and the hear the smile in your words--I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT---besides--Dotz and I also want in your will---LOL
Love you babyseeeester---Meatz

Liz Lipperman said...

Hey, Anonymous, you fat little gramma, alias my big sister Mary Ann!!

We writers always love to hear from readers, especially avid ones like you.

A little back story, my two oldest sisters - Meatz (Mary Ann) and Dotz (Dorothy) are like two Twinkies. They go and do everything together since both are widows. They're also poor and have to be subsidized. Thus the will comment!!!LOL

Dotzie got her nickname because of that song, Maresy Dotz and Dozeydotz and little lambseydivey ...Mary Ann was Mare.

Okay TMI.

Love you. Keep coming back.

Cassy Pickard said...

I'm sitting here laughing. What a group we are!!

Lindsay said...

Cassy,
No kidding about this group. I'm still trying to figure out which of you is the craziest.

Liz Lipperman said...

Cassy, we are definitely a "group"!!!

Lindsay, it's a toss-up who needs medications the most!

Lindsay said...

Yeah. And if you get anything good don't forget your friends. BTW your interview questions will be coming soon so be prepared. And that goes for the rest of you M&M ladies.

Nicole Bushland said...

You're going to kick ass mom! This will keep you hopefully distracted for years from your non-fiction "my teenage daughter was a nightmare" project. LOL!

Liz Lipperman said...

Not a chance of my evil teenage daughter non fiction book getting put on the back burner. I plan on getting more interviews this July at conference and then roll with it. The whole world will find out how much grief you gave me when you were a teen. Then they'll find out how ou are now my best friend and the best mother I know.

Love you.

Lindsay said...

Is evil daughter like having an evil twin?

Liz Lipperman said...

Worse. You have to actually live with the daughter. LOL

In all fairness, I'm sure I gave my mom fits, too. Okay, I know I did!

Lindsay said...

I think every child gave their mother grief. Except me. I was a little angel.