Cassy’s Corner- Emotions and What do They do to Our Writing? A Tribute to a Friend
Last week I received an email from my husband’s business partner. He’s a dear friend. His dog died the evening before. We knew she had cancer, but we weren’t prepared for her rapid decline. Jon’s partner and I spent time together on the phone, both of us in tears. I’ve known this 10-year old babe since she was too tiny to walk and still had her eyes closed. She is the aunt of our older Golden Retriever, the sister of another friend’s dog, and somehow related to our younger Retriever. It’s all a little incestuous, in a good way.
I cried. Literally I sobbed off and on all morning. Our family gatherings will no longer be the same without Libby. I found the rest of the day to be somehow in gray tones. The weather was absolutely beautiful. Soft breezes, not too warm, a perfect day. But it lost the sense of color for me. I live on a lovely lake with shimmering reflections. Not this day. The lake might have glistened for others, but to me it was dead water. We lost Libby.
Today I’m thinking about this differently. I was at an emotional edge on that day last week. What does that mean when I am writing? How can I take that raw sadness and turn it into words? I spent an hour this morning just listing how I felt and what that would mean if it had been my parent, or my child, or my dear friend. What did my stomach feel like? I had trouble eating my lunch. What were my thoughts? Why was I so upset? What did Libby represent in terms of attachment, family, love? After all, she was a dog….so, what do our animals mean as extensions of ourselves?
I spent a good part of the day pondering. Today, I am better. I still miss her. But, I find myself hugging my two Goldens as soon as I rise.
And, I think today my writing will be just a tad better. A little more of me in it. A little more of honest emotion.
Thank you, Libby.
14 comments:
Awww, that was very sweet, Cassy. I think to many people, pets are a huge part of their family. It really is like losing a loved one. Use that emotion to fuel your writing and allow you to dig deeper. Writing can be therapy for a lot of things.
Thanks, Kari. We had to put one of our dogs down (a Black Lab) after she'd been with us for 12 years. I brought her home one day without talking it over with my husband. I confess I was just a little nervous when he walked in that evening and the tiny furry black ball ran to greet him. He fell in love within five minutes.
They do change us. No doubt about it. I keep reminding myself of that as I sweep up all the golden fur that flies around my house.
Being in the horseracing industry, most people I know, LOVE their animals like family members.
I've watched so many people open up and glow in the presence of the unconditional love of an animal that this post today has inspired me to write about it in a blog of my own soon, so I don't fill yours up!
For myself, when a cat that was the only constant in my life for 14 years (I don't have children), came to the end of his days, I was so ripped up that I actually said to a friend a few days later, "the pain I was in was so intense that I actually wondered how a person could possibly survive loosing a child."
Now, years later, I use that memory when I'm writing something tragic in a book.
Thanks Cassy and Libby for reminding me of old friends!
Spent yesterday crying in the morning cause I was taking my 11yr. old boxer mix to the vet to hear what I already knew. Her arthritis had advanced to her front legs too. Another sign that I won't have her much longer. Just the thought of that had me crying. I don't know whether to hate or appreciate the fact that I thought about how to use all that emotion in my writing later. Seems all of life is fair game anymore.
Katt: You of all people would certainly understand. Another bit of the story about losing Libby--my husband's partner acquired a second Golden about 10 months ago. She is the litter mate of our younger Golden. I did say this was slightly incestuous.
Ellie has not left our friend's side since Libby died. She has licked him, snuggled with him, stayed with him and almost fed him. It's as if the pup understands that it's now her turn to be the "big girl" and to help him with the loss.
My two are here at my feet, not letting me move an inch without their supervision.
It is amazing what influences our writing, what bits and pieces feed into our finding the right words to reflect the emotions.
Katt, thanks for stopping by.
Debbie: I feel your pain. As I said in an earlier post, we had to put down our 12 year old Lab a few months ago. We picked a day on which Jon and I could be together when it happened. We had to leave the vet's through a private back door so as not to embarrass ourselves in the waiting room. I hear you.
But, I also will say, isn't it wonderful that we can feel so deeply? I would hate to think that I had never had the time I've had with these beautiful beasts.
Our pets sometimes aren't really pets at all but a major member of the family.
I held off commenting on this because I knew it would tear my heart out. Two years ago, we had to put down our beloved Max. He was a Golden/Pyranees mix who wondered in our yard at the lake one day and stole our hearts. Like all my dogs, I felt I had to be there with him when it happened, but truly it was the hardest thing I have even done. It helps that it was so peaceful for him, especially with me holding him and reasuring him. My husband can't even talk about him without tearing up.
Thank you for this wonderfully emotional look at how we can channel those emotions into our scenes.
Debbie, I am so sorry you have to go through this. Wish I could be there to help.
Cassy great post on emotion. I'm sorry about your friends dog/best friend.
When a love one is lost you grieve.
Take Care,
Hey Debbie,
I feel it.
One last comment before I have to leave this all behind (and mop my face)...
When dealing with the daunting task all animal owners usually face at some time along the way... I thank the heavens above that along with the pain I'm forcing onto myself, I know I've given my pet the greatest gift possible.
My cat, the one in the pic that is always on my shoulder like this when I'm writing, just huffed in my ear.
okay, blowing my nose and get on with my day!
All dogs, horses and yes even cats go to heaven.
Okay kids, one last comment.
I just read a blog post that will give you a chuckle or two (which I needed).
Check out http://tawnafenxke.blogspot.com
and hear her thoughts on writing love-scenes.
cheers
Kathy.
Folks: You have all be generous with posting your comments. Thank you. I guess the take-away for me is to recognize my emotions- all of them- and see how I can be not only a better person, but also a better writer.
It's blazing hot here in Connecticut (over 100 degrees with high humidity) so my two Goldens have been doing a lot of swimming. My younger one is now sleeping with half her head in the water bowl- just basically her nose sticking out. That's with the air conditioning blasting. How can I not laugh at that? Gotta love 'em.
Katt, the blog is hysterical. I will never look at a corndog in the same way again!!!!!!!!!!!!
But the url was wrong. It is:
http://tawnafenske.blogspot.com/
Post a Comment