Last night I had an unexpected party of sorts. I was to meet one of my dear friends for dinner at a local casual spot. My husband, on his way to the airport (of course), ran into another of a close friend of ours. He suggested to her that she stop by, as I was home alone. My husband didn't know that I had already made plans. So, the evening changed. I ran to the store to get something for dinner and had both women here. They knew each other only briefly, exchanging hello's at the gym. Nothing more.
After wine on the terrace looking over the lake, I became the odd man out. They bonded. My two dear friends were creating their own connections. I loved it.
The conversation took many turns. Relationships. Kids. Travel. One of these two has traveled with me many times in Italy. By the time the chicken was wrapped up in the kitchen and dessert was put on the table, they turned to me. "Tell us about your writing."
I started. Stopped. Started. "No, we really want to know. Tell us, " they said.
So, I did. I gave the elevator speech about my work in process. I gave them a brief synopsis. I told them about the challenges of carving out significant writing time with four parents in their mid-eighties, two children, much time on an airplane with multiple time zones, and so on. They listened.
Then, the magical moment was their enthusiasm. They loved my story's premise. They loved my excitement for my work. And, I think they actually meant it. Not just love for me.
After they left and I was doing the dishes, I felt a certain high (maybe it was the wine, but I don't think so). I have support. I have people who respect and admire what I do.
My family is, of course, supportive. My husband is wonderful- he loves my work. My kids are a cheering squad. But this was special. Three silly women sitting around a table talking about life, our hopes, and giving me huge verbal hugs.
I am always amazed by the encouragement we receive from those who understand how we are wired. I thank them.
Please, share. Who are those who support you, spur you on? Give you the feedback you need? Cover your ass when you need that? Provide the sense of promise?
I look forward to hearing from you.
7 comments:
I have quite a few people who are frequently asking how the writing is going. Some I feel ask to be nice while other are serious. Those are the ones that bought my work. Then there's the one person who is always teasing and pushing me to get the editing done. She's now one of my beta-readers for my WIP.
Then there's, and I think you will appreciate this one Cassy, the times when I'm struggling through a tough scene. Kebi, my wonder dog, seems to sense the angst and comes over to give me doggie comfort. And what better support is there than support from mans best friend.
Lindsay: I hear you. Kebi is just as important as the human interaction. I can't remember if I mentioned it here, but Mina, my pup, has been trying to type. No kidding. She stands at my desk with her paws on the computer and punches away. I swear she is mimicking me.
You are also right about the people in our lives. Some are there to just smile and be nice. Then there are those who stand ready to be honest, both in support and in criticism. I appreciate the second group.
Aside from my writer friends, I have a group of women (Bunko) with whom I have been friends with, some as long as 25 years. They always read my stuff and give me love. Now these women are not ogres, but they don't blow smoke...normally. With my last book, I did something I've never done before. I was on a week long vacation at the lake in a house with my entire family. I had already decided to let my hubby read my story since he seemed interested and since this book was the one that will be published anyhow. Before long, both my son and daughter-in-law were fighting over who got to read it next. I was scared since they have never read anything of mine before. I have only been brave enough to let my daughter read my stuff.
Not only did they love it, but they also each offered a different perspective. For example, I have a sports angle and my son picked up on a few errors I had made, even though I am a huge sports fan, myself.
So, you are right about getting support, Cassy. So many people think you write a book, you sell it and then it hits the NY Times BS list. I can't tell you how many times I fielded the question, "Where can I get your book?" after I'd told someone I was a writer. They look at you like you must really suck when you say you aren't published yet.
Validation is good for the soul, and it sounds like that's what you got from your friends.
Canines are friends, too, Lindsay, and although they can't say, "Great book, Dad", they can show you they love you no matter what happens with your writing.
I'm polite but guarded around the person who smiles and talks nice. You never know, they might be the one who not only buys your book but then recommend it to friends.
You're right, our canine friends can't say great book but when I was writing my current and I would write a scene with the collie I'd tell Kebi about it afterwards and he seemed a little more excited than normal.
Careful Cassy or Mina might become the first canine author.
Well....my M&M's for one :-)
And of course my rock and cp since forever....Barbie Jo Mahoney. I couldn't do any of this without her.
I have a lot of friends who ask about my writing, but it's really her I turn to for pretty much everything.
Even with our dear friends, contacts, and dogs, we really are in this for ourselves. Stephen King I think said it well. He said that our first draft is for us, with the door closed. Then when we edit, we open the door and write for the reader. I'm not sure Mina and Macy would understand, but they are faithful canine followers.
That is wonderful Cassy. Thank you for sharing. My friends--if they read anything of mine--always act surprised that they liked it. "It was actually pretty good." One person said. Well thanks!
My husband just got through reading my finished WIP and he said "It had the typical chick flick ending." That's his HEA. But at least he read all 80000 words! And correct quite a few.
It's always nice to have support in whatever way you can get it.
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