Monday, January 10, 2011

You Might Be A Writer If.......

The New Year has just gotten underway, and I wanted to have a little fun. I’ve been reading “You might be a writer IF…” posts and cracking up. I’ve decided to make up a few myself and then throw it out to you great readers to come up with your own. I’ll send an ARC of LIVER LET DIE (when it becomes available) to the one that makes me laugh the most. (I’ll enlist the help of my fellow blogmates to actually pick a winner. So here goes mine:

If someone with a cold tells you he's blocked and you suggest he read a good book until his muse might be a writer.

If you have a special gadget on your night stand that lights up when you pull out the pen for writing down great dialogue that comes to you at two AM….you might be a writer.

If for two solid weeks, you eat bologna sandwiches and Hostess HoHOs because that’s what your heroine likes… might be a writer.

If you’re convinced your writing sucks one day, then dream about how brilliant you are the next….you might be a writer.

If you love finding unusual ways of killing people…you might be a writer.

If your TBR pile is higher than a crackhead neighbor…you might be a writer.

If when you read a book, you wonder why they’re published and you’re not…you might be a writer.

If when you read a book you are ready to give up your dream because you’ll never be as good as XXX…you might be a writer.

If someone tells you they got a request for a full and you don’t say full what? might be a writer.

If your idea of romance is keeping two people apart for a long time and making them as miserable as you can, you might be a writer.

If someone mentions your voice is weak when you have laryngitis and you rush home to hone up on your craft….you might be a writer.

If you think every herring is red…you might be a writer. (I stole this one!!)

If you start crying because of something you’ve done to a fictitious character….you might be a writer.

And my favorite one:

If you are on the watch list for Homeland Security because you researched weapons of mass destruction and terrorism,,,.you might be a writer.

I do or have done all of the above. Oh hell! I’m a writer.

Now let me hear yours. Remember the free ARC, so make it good. You can enter as many times as you like, but put each one in a different comment. They have to be original. No cheating, people.


Kari Lee Townsend said...

Ha ha...that's too funny, Liz!

If you think WRITE stands for write, read, indefinitely, the, end ... you might be a writer :-)

That was fun!

Tonya Kappes said...

You might be a writer if you hear a great word in public and you type it in your phone so you won't forget to put it in your latest WIP!

Fun post!!!!

Katt said...

Morning Liz, had a few minutes to play... here goes...

If your friends suddenly clam up when you scramble to write on a napkin... you might be a writer.

If you blush when you see your notebook of ideas is in someone else's hands... you might be a writer.

If you instantly make up a story for each table in the restaurant... you might be a writer!

hey this is fun! ooops , back to class.

Liz Lipperman said...

Good morning, Ladies. I just woke up to these great entries. I just posted to FB so you should get some competition.

Dale Mayer said...

Hi Liz,

If you burn dinner because you had to jot down that last might be a writer. You might be a writer if you go to a coffee shop and sit...not for the chance to enjoy a treat but to watch the characters in the shop with you. You might be a writer if you 'steal' pens every chance you get - even to the point it's an unwitting habit!

Hey this is fun!

magolla said...

If you talk about your characters as if they are your 'real' friends . . . you might be a writer.

Donna Cummings said...

Liz, this is fun. Here's one:

"If you spend all day staring out the window and nobody asks what you're looking at, you might be a writer." LOL

Mary Martinez said...

If your best ideas come in the shower.. You might be a writer.

If you characters won't let you sleep... you might be a writer.

These are probably all been done. But this was fun Liz!

Liz Lipperman said...

Ooh, these are getting so good. Keep them coming. Don't can enter as many times as you want.

A free ARC, people, to add to that mile high TBR pile.

Clarissa Southwick said...

Loved the list, Liz. I especially worry about the last one. I'm sure they're watching me. Here's mine:

If you worry that your credit card bill is longer than your WIP, you must be a writer.

Liz Lipperman said...

My fellow Book Cents author, Tracy Roper, asked me to post hers since Blogger is giving her fits.

If your husband says he's leaving you for a one-legged circus clown and you think, "What a great hook!" .... you might be a writer.

Tracy J

Anna Louise Lucia said...

If you have an accident and think, "wow, this is how a car crash feels, where's my notebook?" you might be a writer...

Lindsay said...

If someone cuts in front of you in line and you immediately start plotting how to eliminate them, you might be a writer.
If you start a blog and/or spend your days commenting on blogs, you might be a writer.
That one I know all to well since I just started my own blog.

Wolfgang A. Mozart said...

Okay, here's one:

If you're still wearing your pajamas at 2:00 PM, you just might be a writer.

(Mary Moreno writing as W.A. Mozart)

Tess said...

Great ones, Liz and everyone...Tracy gets my vote...LOL.

If you're listening to your sister's horrifying story of how she's at the hospital with her 12 year old son who jumped from her roof and broke both his ankles and all you can think about is how to get that into your wip, you might be a writer.

Liz Lipperman said...

And the good ones keep rolling in.

Tessy, did that really happen to your nephew?

Cassy Pickard said...

Liz: great! I have a writing friend who tried to see if her lady in harm could really tie herself up with duct tape. Her son came home from school to find his mother on the floor. He had to cut her her free with scissors. Does she qualify as a writer?

Lindsay said...

You might be a writer if all your trips to Italy involve at least one adventure worthy of a mystery writer. Hold it. Cassy you are a mystery writer

Katt said...

LOVE the one legged circus clown!

Mary Marvella said...

If the folks at the post office know you need postage on one envelope to mail a manuscript to mail off and return postage on the second envelope, and they help you assemble the sets, you might be a writer.

Mary Marvella said...

If you start a conversation in the middle of a scene and your friends catch up with you instead of asking if you've lost your mind, then ...

Marilyn said...

If somebody tells you their baby Jesus was stolen during the holidays and that gives you the idea for your WIP that includes a baby Jesus that shocks and says "Be sure your sin will find you out" when grabbed, you might be a writer.


Tess said...

Yes, Liz...really happened to my nephew, but long before I started writing. I thought about it one day as I was writing and how it would be worth putting into a wip.

Not to mention the wedding from hell with one of her boys...the bride (if ever there was a bridezilla, this was her!) didn't think everyone would make the wedding on time so the invitations said 2, but it ended up not happening until 6 (no one mentioned that part...we all just sat around waiting, being told it was going to happen soon) we all sat outside (the wedding was in the backyard of a friend of the bride) for four hours on a hellishly hot day in July in Houston, TX...oh, I could go on and on with everything that happened that day including the one toilet at the house not working to the twilight bark the dogs decided to have when the wedding started, but I will spare you, but by the end of the night we were all watching the bride on a wooden deck lined with candles lit in bags (you know what I'm talking about?) waiting for her dress to ignite into flames.

I'll be honest, the way my sister's life used to be, if they'd have had her life story on the nightly news, everyone would have tuned in just to see what else had happened to the poor girl who was raising three sons alone! I swear I don't know how they all survived!

Liz Lipperman said...

And the unanimous winner of the LIVER LET DIE arc is:

If your husband says he's leaving you for a one-legged circus clown and you think, "What a great hook!" .... you might be a writer.

Yay, Tracy. Email your snail mail address and I'll send you the first arc I get.

Thanks to everyone for playing. There were some really good ones, but in the end, the one legged clown got to all of us.

Liz Lipperman said...

Tess, what an amazing life your sister has lead. I would definitely use some of the stuff in a book.