Monday, August 8, 2011
Liz’s Lair: Cracking Myself Up
When I wrote my very first book one hundred years ago (seems like it!) I was still chasing romance. Although Shattered Dreams has a beautiful love story that made even my agent cry (trust me..that's a feat!!) it still has danger and suspense. It's not a true mystery since you know who the bad guys are all along. It's not a RS since it breaks too many rules. It’s just the book of my heart to this day. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that when I was writing it, I went for the emotional heart strings and not so much the humor. It has its make-you-smile moments, but it's not what I would call ha-ha funny like some of my later work. (Okay, I admit it. I laugh at my own jokes!!)
I remember being in the shower several times and thinking about all the heartache I’d put my characters through, and the tears would roll. How could I do that to them? I’m tearing up now just thinking about it. This story, BTW, will probably go up on Amazon since the whole world rejected it. Who cares that there are two heroes or that it takes place in Colombia or that there are orphaned children involved?
Apparently New York!! But isn’t it great that we no longer have to live or die by their preferences? In yesterday's world, we were all authors. In today’s world we can all be published authors. Most of us will never be able to quit our day jobs, but so what? We can always dream.
I have strayed way off topic and probably should get back on track. Sometimes, I crack myself up. If I had to choose, I would say my ghost mystery series is my funniest manuscript, mainly because it's about five sisters, one of whom dies and comes back to help them solve her murder. Now, in real life I have four sisters, just like my heroine and one of them died way too soon. TALK DEAD TO ME plays on these sibling relationships, but Theresa, my sister who died, is nothing like Tessa, my ghost. Tessa is so smart mouthed, she says everything I sometimes want to say to people, but my Catholic upbringing stops me short.
I decided it would be fun if you all posted a “short” excerpt from one of your stories to show how you do humor. Do you crack yourself up sometimes? Here’s one from my ghost story. As a side note, this is the story that my editor loved but couldn’t use since she wanted a cozy. She’s still thinking about, though. To set it up, Lainey is the host of a TV show in Savannah and is in town for the funeral when she gets guilted into staying to help her sister find out who killed her. She is dressed all sexy and in a bar to see if she can get any information out of an oilman from Houston who just might be the killer. She’s nervous because she has no idea what this guy looks like, and she's never done this before. She nearly bolts before Tessa finally shows up. The bold dialogue is the ghost.
“Thank God!” Lainey exhaled noisily when she turned to see Tessa on the stool beside her. “Where in the hell have you been?”
I can’t control when I show up. It just happens.
“Yeah, well, good thing you did. I was about to haul butt out of here. Carrie told me to check out Quinton Porter, and I have no clue if he’s even in here.”
The guy at the end of the bar all alone. I swear, that jerk couldn’t score in a monkey whorehouse with a bagful of bananas.
Lainey turned in time to catch the cowboy staring at her, probably wondering who she was talking to. “The one in the hat?” she asked, trying not to move her mouth as she smiled at Porter.
Yep. That’s one dude I’d like to see well hung.
Lainey’s eyebrows hitched. “Well hung? You said he was a creep.”
He is. In his case when I say well hung, it means I can barely slip my finger between his neck and the freakin’ noose.
Okay, show me what you've got. I’ll ask my fellow blog mates to help me choose the one we think is the funniest. That lucky person will receive an ARC of LIVER LET DIE.
Go for it.