Friday, November 18, 2011

Decisions, Decisions

I know in the past I've posted about procrastination (I'm quite good at it) and crunch time (I'm good at that, too). But when it comes to decisions, especially the hard ones.... I suck. Oh hell, maybe not even the hard ones. I drive my husband crazy when we go out to eat and it takes me forever to decide what I want, or what kind of pre-dinner drink I want. I don't know why it comes so hard for me. I love food and drink. Maybe it's because I don't want to choose the wrong item. What if I miss out on something better? What if the item I choose isn't really that good for me, even though it sounds delicious?? My husband is the King of decision making. Sometimes he's a little too quick to decide (this is where I come in and make him see the other sides of the issue) but for the most part, when all is said and done, he makes the right choice. I tell him all the time he's black and white. There are no shades of grey. After being married for 18 years, you'd think I would have adapted some of these traits. Maybe I have a little, but I am no BigDawg. So I find myself faced with some very difficult decisions. To the BigDawg, it's black and white - which gives me a choice I'm not ready to make. But I see the point, it's there in front of me and I think I've been choosing not to accept it all along...thinking that something better was right around the corner. I've turned many corners, and they have been empty. And in my shades of grey world, I've looked for the silver lining. But now I have to ask myself, has it been fear that has kept me from making a choice? What exactly am I afraid of...admitting failure? No one likes to do that, but isn't that when you find out what you're made of, pick yourself up and move on? Sometimes even when you want something bad enough, it's just not meant to be. You face the fact and move on. You make the hard decision, even if it sucks. So while I'm still floating in my shades of grey space, the black and white looms over me like a thunder cloud. Do I keep my rose colored glasses on a bit longer, or do I put on my big girl pants and choose.


Cassy Pickard said...

Oh, my friend, I think you have it wrong. I, too, have trouble in a restaurant. My husband knows in a nano second. He is quick with an opinion before I even finish telling him why the furnace needs repair. My younger daughter is the first to offer her desire for a meal, before the waiter has even made eye contact, and is the first to tell me what's wrong with the pants I have on. They aren't unkind or impolite--Just clear. I tease them that they are "sometimes in err, but never in doubt."

Yet, I think you have it wrong, as I said. I think those of us who wait, who think it through, who have reasonable questioning, who are willing to listen to the other side, who hesitate might just come in first. We ask questions. We wonder. And, we write pretty darn good stories because of that.

You've got it right.

Lindsay said...

Choose but do it carefully.

Liz Lipperman said...

You know me. I think everything happens for a reason, so if you think you made a wrong decision, wait a while. I'll bet you'll find out it was really the right one for you.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

Anita Clenney said...

OMG! You've been in my head, or I've been inside yours. Austin and I have been discussing this very thing this week, and my CP and I were talking about it yesterday.

Austin sees everything black and white (he's technical, a Network Architect) while I live in a world of grey. Menus torment me as well as him. He pleads with me to just let him make the decision since I won't be happy with mine anyway. Yesterday, he said what I need to do it go with my first gut instinct, that it's usually right, and block everything else. I might try it. I refuse to leave my grey world completely, but I think I'll nudge a little more to the middle anyway.

Kari Lee Townsend said...

I think writing is who we are, not what we do. And I think writers are dreamers. We will always write and always dream and always want something bigger and something more. With publishing today, there are so many new opportunities. We can make our dreams come true on our own terms, which is wonderful. Who says there's only one path? I think being brave and doing it "our" way is a great path to take, and the rest will follow.

These are new times...exciting times...and I for one can't wait to try this new venture.

Never give up, never stop dreaming, and in the meantime make it happen on your own terms :-)

Besides, I know you and you'd never be completely happy walking away. Your creative side would miss the hell out of it.