Thursday, February 23, 2012

Throw me a bouey, Jethro!

Excuse me, but I need to use a lifeline. Then again, I might not have one left. Let's just say, there's a reason why I over think things. I like to consider myself a planner. I'm organized (usually) and I like to know exactly how I'm going to handle something. I've never been one to leap without looking. Impulsive Barbie is NOT a good thing.

Case in point: me going back to school. GREAT idea in theory. I pumped myself up about it. I can do it! The kids are more self-sufficient, I can make it work around their schedules and working the day job, yeah...gooooo Barbie! You're never to old to keep learning, way to go, advance that job!

Bullshit.

I AM too old! And while my kids are pretty self-sufficient, I'm missing the down time with them. And why is that? Because I have NO down time!!!!!!!! My nose is stuck behind a book (classroom text book, not even a book from one of my peeps!) 7 days a week, for hours at a time! I have had a paper due every week for the last 4 weeks, not to mention a huge group project due next week, and a paper for the other class I'm taking due as well. We are talking 4-6 chapters a week, and that is just 1 class. Chapters for the other are smaller, but they are more intense and require extreme focus on my part.

So what has happened to my professional writing? It has come to a screeching halt, that's what! Not only am I ready to poke my eyes our from all of the reading, but I'm going to freak out over the projects I want to get done that I can't seem to get to - not even on the weekends. IN-Sane, I tell you! I've missed my blog day at LEAST 3 times since classes started, I'm chewing my cuticles like crazy from all of the stress and somehow I missed national margarita day! I've come up with some fantastic anthology ideas that I need to get working on and I'm getting some positive vibes from a cozy submission that I'm hoping turns into something great.

Lots of writing to be done, and unfortunately by the end of the day I've got nothing left. Ugh. And as much as I told myself not to, I'm freaking out over everything. I'm trying to set deadlines for myself, think ahead about promotion for the soon to be released e-book, and find time to write.

What's that old saying? You can't teach an old dog new tricks. Yup, that would be me. I thought taking classes would be more of a brain cell issue (you know, they haven't been exercised except for writing romance, not to mention the vineyards of wine I've drank!) The brains are holding up decently well. It's the nerves and timing that are floundering! I will be the first to admit, I can't keep up. I can't stay up until 11PM or later reading, and then til 12AM or later writing papers!

Can anyone say "burn out"?

Right now I need to be that little engine that could and make it up the obnoxiously big hill to May 7th. But until then, throw me a bouey and let me bob around awhile with the occasional margarita. I'm hoping to have some cozy mystery news to share in the very near future.

Have a wonderful and safe weekend M&M'ers!!!

7 comments:

Lindsay said...

You must be totally wipeout. I think you might mean 'buoy' not whatever that word is you spelled. So get ready, I'm tossing you one.
Focus one what is important to you, now and the future. Someting tells me it's your writing.
Write a word a day in your next book.

Cassy Pickard said...

Barbie Jo: Been there- big time. When I did my PhD I commuted to Maryland for 2-3 nights a week from Connecticut leaving two small children and a very competent husband- who travels. My guilt was through the roof. My mantra became, just buy more underwear, no one will notice the spot on their tee shirts.

Truly, though, when I graduated I saw three beaming faces watching me cross the stage. My kids got good at laundry, making their own beds and reminding me to eat. One evening Sarah snuck in my study and put a p&j sandwich on my desk and whispered, "Mommy, I think you need to take a shower." Then she tip-toed out the door.

They can do it. They can. AND so can you. Both my girls have told me they would never have believed in themselves as much as they do without seeing it really can be done.

Go, girl. Feel miserable, eat chocolate, have a glass of wine, then get back to work. xxxox

Kari Lee Townsend said...

"The vineyards of wine I drank," Barbie said....OMG I've soooo been there.

I have copy edits due on Monday (I haven't even started them), then a synopsis and cover ideas for Book 3 due asap, then book three itself due on Thursday (still have 70 or 80 pages left to go)....and I'm on vacation in Florida right now!

You are sooooooooo right...timing is everything!

But...you will do this just like I will. We somehow find a way, even if we have to go through hell and back to get there.

I'm throwing that bouey, Jethro, so grab on and buckle up...

Anita Clenney said...

I'm in awe of you all right now. Barbie, I thought I had it tough. Although writing for 17 hours straight the past couple of days has taken a toll on my neck and my house.

I don't know how you will do it, Barbie, but you will. You can do it, you can do it, you can do it.

Liz Lipperman said...

I'm smiling because I am in my "do nothing" stage. I finished book 3, finished the copy edits on book 2, wrote the synopsis and cover ideas for book 3 and got them to editor, and now I'm leisurely researching book 4, starting with an Italian Festival in Mississippi next weekend.

Can you say spaghetti and sangria???

I'd better enjoy it as the panic mode sneaks up on me, too.

And you don't need a buoy, Barbie. What you need is a longer work day. Until someone comes up with one, my advice is to make sure you stop and smell the roses--or the grapes from that vineyard!!

Tiffinie Helmer said...

Here are my two cents. Barbie, you can do anything if there is an end date in sight. That is how we get through the intense commercial fishing season in Alaska every summer. We seriously eat, fish, and sleep. And not a lot of sleeping going on. I've had my brother bird feed me with a PB&J because there wasn't time to stop and eat. But there is an end date. Every day that passes is another day closer to the end. Start a countdown and have a box of badass wine ready when its all over. :)

Barbie Jo Mahoney said...

Thank you everyone for making me smile and giving me the boost I needed, in spite of this killer cold that has latched onto me for dear life. Wiped out, Indeed!

Lindsay - you're right, it's my writing. I've wanted this for so long and I continue to be balancing on the edge. I need the cozy news to be positive, so keep fingers (and paws) crossed, and attach a margarita to that "flotation device!" :-)

Cassy - You're my hero! xoxox!!! I applaud you for getting that PhD while raising your children. If this were a PhD, I think I could suck it up better (well, and if I were about 10 yrs younger, too). I have an A.S. degree so this is just to finish up my B.A. - not a priority, really as much as it is almost a necessity in order for me to advance at the university. And hey, it's free tuition so who am I to argue - except that doing this part time is going to take me forever!! Book deals come first!

Kari - There is a reason why we share a brain! No doubt we will persevere. We haven't gotten this far by sitting idle. But WE HAVE TO LEARN TO SAY NO! (LOL) And I have to think ahead before I jump.

Anita - I would KILL (I'm pretty sure right now) to have 17 straight hours for MY OWN work!!! *can you say jealous??!! - Even of the stiff neck! I hear Amazon likes to release titles quickly, so I'm sure you're in full steam ahead mode!

Liz - What can I say, you make me laugh! I want to do nothing!!! spaghetti and sangria sounds wonderful and I need to take notes and be creative like you. Honestly, you do the BEST research for your books. Enjoy your down time, please...I will panic enough for everyone!

Tiffinie - Believe me, I HAVE started the countdown. I've also decided the summer is MINE! NO Classes! I'm burned out. I need to write.

You all are amazing and I'm so happy to have friends like you! March is in sight, all I have to do is get through April and the first week of May. I CAN do this! By the time May comes these characters will bust from my head and probably write the stories themselves! :-)