If you’re like me, those moments of joy after creating a
story you love will be peppered with plenty of self doubt and insecurity.Am I good
enough to sell? If I’m lucky enough and do sell, will anyone besides my family and
friends actually read the book? Am I a One-Hit-Wonder, or worse, a fraud? Now
that I’ve written the first book, can I write a second book that’s worth
reading? Will reviewers rip me apart before I even get
out of the gate?
I remember being so excited that I’d sold my first book, but
I couldn’t for the life of me believe that more than a few hundred or maybe a thousand
people would want to buy the book. Why would they? No one knew me. I broke
through those hurdles, reached scads of readers, and hit some really nice lists. That was an amazing thing, watching my career grow, getting fan emails and good reviews, but still those doubts creep in. Will I suddenly forget how to write? Are all my books really the same story with different characters? Can I meet deadlines? Will the plot tank run dry?
As most of you know, my agent is Christine Witthohn of Book Cents. She's been wonderful, the voice of reason all this time, assuring me that I will succeed, that I'm not a one hit wonder, that I have more than one series in me, in fact many, many books, because I'm a professional writer. She's been right so far, and I'm turning in the first book in my second series in just a couple of weeks. So when self doubt stares at me in the mirror, I
hear my agent's voice in my ear and know that I can do this. I can write as many books as I need to. My plot tank still brims with ideas. I can meet deadlines, because I’m a professional
writer.
Whether you're published yet or not, have confidence in your abilities. Because you're a professional too.
Whether you're published yet or not, have confidence in your abilities. Because you're a professional too.
10 comments:
I always worry about that sort of thing. It's scary, hoping and praying you can pull off another great book. I have no doubt that you will!
That's where I am--right at this very moment. Thanks for giving voice to it. It's blocking my work on a sequel--that and not knowing if the first book is even going to sell well enough to merit a second.
Boy oh boy! I hate to say this, but I love it that you feel this way, since I do, too. I remember when I got my first contract on a proposal. You'd think I would have been flattered that an editor was willing to take a 3 book risk on three chapters alone, but I had the exact opposite reaction. The self doubt nearly crippled me. I think writers have been beaten down so much that we automatically assume we suck.
And you deserve to be on those lists, Anita. Can't wait to read this new series.
We're all plagued with self doubt throughout our career. Maybe that's what strives us to do better with each book we write. Sunday I sent to my publisher a book, yes with doubt that it wasn't perfect or good enough. Well, I was wrong because yesterday monring in my email inbox was my 4th contract with Astraea Press. The second this year.
Hey, if I can do it Anita you can to.
Keep the faith that you are that good
Anita, you hit a good day for this post, that's for sure! As I sit...still waiting for the meeting to happen...still waiting for the hopeful "call"...doubts are flooding in like there's no tomorrow. Ms. Editor was interested, but WHAT IF she finds a reason to say no??? WHAT IF, and we've all heard it before, they don't have a slot for it. WHAT IF, I just didn't pull it off like I thought??? It makes me feel like drinking - someone pass the margaritas!
Even with my novellas doing well on amazon, I'm still nervous about the romantic suspense I'm tweaking to put out. Did I pull it off? Is it good enough?
We really are our own worst enemies. We get too close to our own work we can't be objective or even confident. But you are right, we are professional writers.
We may not act it sometimes, but we really do know what we're doing. I'm really looking forward to your new series too!!
Kari, I think it will always be this way. Maybe it keeps up on our toes. :)
Marilyn, I think everyone goes through this. Even John Steinbeck, who wrote Grapes of Wrath, had a writing journal published. Every page is filled with his self doubts, that his book is trash, no one will want it...
You brush off those doubts and finish that sequel. Look at each positive review you got. They want a sequel.
Liz, I remember you going through that. And it does take away from the joy of finally selling. Maybe the more we write, the more the self doubts fade, but I suspect they'll still lurk there, waiting to torment us. If they do, we'll just have to whack them over the head with all our good reviews.
Lindsay, congrats! That's wonderful. I think the doubts do make us work harder. So maybe it's a necessary evil.
Barbie, I know what you mean. Those WHAT IF's are horrible, but hang in there. You'll get it. Christine wouldn't have spent time on you if you weren't a good writer. I really do hear her voice in my head when I have these doubts.
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